Post # 1 of 10 in "The Frasier Series"
Season 3, Episode 13
Air Date: 02/06/1996
Episode 10 in Variety's Top 25 Frasier Episodes
WARNING: There will be episode spoilers in this blog series.
This series mostly aired in the 90's so, I think it's on you if you've found anything "spoiled" for you. Anyways, fair warning - I'm not holding anything back for your viewing surprise.
Call to Action:
Assess your splurge!
Continue reading to take a journey through this Frasier episode, "Moon Dance",
or skip ahead to dive right into the details of this Action Call!
" Realizing that it’s time he started dating again, Niles takes Daphne to a society ball. "
Where the Episode Starts
At the radio station, KACL, in Frasier's recording booth, during "On Air" time.
Caller, Marleen, asks Dr. Crane for advice stating that she was about to go out to have sex with a stranger in a department store if she and her husband couldn't find some alone time, away from their kids, soon.
Frasier's advice is to send the kids to the grandparents, lock up the dog, and have rough sex in the kitchen with your husband, not a stranger.
"Let the postman ring twice!"
Given this is my first episode being reviewed in this blog series, I need to first take a step back.
Frasier Crane, the namesake of the show, is the main character however, the core cast is vitally important to the success of the series. His character has already been establish in an entirely different TV series, "Cheers." We follow this same character to Seattle, his hometown, after leaving Boston and getting divorced. He is a psychiatrist who had a private practice in Boston but leaps into the entertainment industry to provide mental health advice on a call-in AM radio program. He is pompous and established in a privileged lifestyle.
Niles Crane, is Frasier's younger brother, also a psychiatrist. He has his own private practice and is married to an extremely wealthy woman, Maris. Niles suffers from OCD, among other neuroses, and is even more pretentious than Frasier.
Martin Crane, is Frasier's dad and a retired police officer. He was shot with a the bullet to the hip during an armed robbery and was forced to take an early retirement. After struggling with his rehabilitation, Martin moves in with Frasier to his fancy high-rise condo. Martin and Frasier are polar opposites in regard to personalities and culture.
Eddie Crane, is Martin's dog and undoubtedly the most beloved character of the show.
Daphne Moon, is Martin's physical therapist. She moves into the condo with Frasier, Martin, and Eddie to assist Martin both with his exercises and home chores. She is from Machester, England, only in the U.S. a short time before joining the Crane residence. She believes herself to be a psychic and becomes the secret love obsession for Niles.
Roz Doyle, is Frasier's producer of his show, "The Dr. Frasier Crane Show." She is a pioneer in that not many women entered this professional field at the time she did. She is very confident in her sexual expression and isn't afraid to tell you about it.
In this episode, the main plot is about Daphne going to a fancy society ball with Niles.
Niles stays married to his wife Maris for 5 years into the series but their relationship is always stressed. Maris is a character many times referenced, but we never see her. She becomes an opportunity to see how wild the writers of the show can imagine her to be.
Niles has an instant crush on Daphne, from episode 1, often referring to her as a goddess.
At this point in the series, Maris and Niles are separated. Niles comes over to the condo, complaining to his dad that Maris has been "parading" all over town with multiple escorts. Yet, at his next visit, his tune changes because he got a date for his Country Club's "Snowball." It was a big deal for Niles to feel ready to be dating again. His newfound enthusiasm is quickly squashed when he realizes that this date will likely want to dance at the ball. Maris "dislikes public displays of rhythm," and never danced, so he's now realizing most people do indeed dance at these events, but he doesn't know how. Panic!
Daphne has many brothers, one being a gay ballroom dancer. She offers to teach Niles some moves. Crisis averted.
As you might guess, Niles is floating with ecstasy being able to practice dancing with Daphne. Eventually, Niles' date is canceled and Daphne asks if she could attend so they do not put their hard work to waste.
Once at the ball together, Daphne notices the pity given to Niles as if he is the loser from the marriage. Daphne, being the humble and dedicated friend she is, offers to "pretend" that they are romantically involved.
As in classic Frasier style, Niles erroneously believes Daphne's swooning calls of admiration on the dance floor are authentic.
Poor Niles endures a rollercoaster of emotions. From the most euphoric of highs, he crashes down to an obliterating disappointment when he realizes Daphne's true motive was to give the appearance of a steamy romance just to juice the gossip line, as a favor to Niles.
She wanted to dispel the idea others in attendance at the ball had, that he was pathetic. Then we see how pathetic he really is when his heart shatters before us.
Through it all, Niles shows us his resilience. As he escorts Daphne out of the function and she laughs over the delightful evening she just had, she reflects on how far Niles has come. After all, he didn't know how to dance just a short time ago, and now he was able to put on an elaborate tango! She continues,
"It's such a shame when fear gets people to stop them from trying new things."
This prompts Niles to return back to his table and pick up the telephone number, which he previously abandoned there. The number was given to him by another woman, after seeing his performance. She expressed a hope to make a future date for dancing. He thought he wasn't ready after such a turn of events with Daphne, but then her comment about fear persuaded him to turn back to that card.
It takes up through late Season 7 for Daphne and Niles to finally get together. For all the time leading up to that, the main romance of the show stays a forbidden crush; that's an extraordinary amount of time to string us viewers along to this unknown future possibility.
It's episodes like this one that allow us to get so much value from a one-sided love affair. Which of course, eventually turns into mutually reciprocated.
As in many episodes of Frasier, we're brought into his, and his brother's, elite lifestyle.
In this episode, we get to listen in on the fancy-crowd gossip. There's a lot of attention given to dating and being able to attract and entertain a mate.
The most interesting comments on money come from Daphne as she and Niles are sitting, taking a break from dancing, at the Snowball.
Niles pays Daphne a compliment on her "exquisite gown." She goes on to say:
" I spent way too much on this dress. It was way out of me price range, but did you ever see something and say
'I just got to have it?’ ”
Niles needs to quickly reach for his chair after being asked to consider what he's had his eye on!
Daphne earns a modest wage and is provided free housing through her job for the Crane family as a live-in physical therapist. She practically begged Niles to take her as his date to the ball when she learned his original date canceled on him. Then she goes out and buys herself this dress.
Now the dress, it is quite beautiful...
How much did such a gorgeous gown cost?
It clearly is very flattering for her, and especially for their tango, but it's not overly ornate. It's the simplicity of it that's gorgeous so, it's probably not wildly expensive but she still stated it was out of her budget.
When Daphne is discussing dresses she can barely afford, Niles is dreaming about the woman he cannot afford.
He had the opportunity to tell Daphne his true feelings this evening, but his pride and further his embarrassment kept him from expressing himself honestly.
So even though Daphne couldn't afford to go to fancy balls, she was rich with honesty.
Niles could afford any banquet or function that's exclusive and pricey, but he was poor in living his truth.
Parts of our wealth are explicitly objective: like how much money we currently have in our bank accounts, or our total net worth.
The other questions become a lot more subjective:
- How much money do I need to save for retirement and do I have enough saved today?
- Can I afford a fancy outfit for one night out?
- Can I afford expensive events to be included on a "who's who" list?
- Do I know how to calculate the answers to these questions?
- Am I living a life that's honest with myself?
How do you feel about your answers to these questions?
Can we be financially secure and at the same emotionally secure?
I think most of us are doing the best we can. Stringing together some group of actions hoping it constitutes a budget. I fear so many of us fail to consider retirement and then skew all of our numbers for our financial plans.
Assess your splurge!
What feelings does the word splurge bring up for you?
Is this something you do often, or very little?
Is there guilt involved with splurges, or are your splurges strategically orchestrated?
If we want to make it simple, there are two types of people: Those who always splurge and those who never do.
Of course, there are a million scenarios in the middle. But if those are our two ends of the spectrum, which side do you tend to fall on?
Has that changed throughout your life?
As your financial coach, I want you to be enjoying this one life we're sharing together right now. Some of the time we should be planning for the future and other times we should be taking care of the now.
Daphne showed us a great example of a splurge. Still, this was one dress that she probably didn't need to withdraw from her retirement fund to achieve the purchase.
"Splurge" is subjective and can be a rare occurrence or something that occurs daily.
Depending on your level of income and assets, the value you can responsibly sustain as a splurge can radically change.
I find often those who aren't being honest with themselves and acting a life out that's not truly authentic, need splurges to help carry them emotionally along their journey of life.
If you have a net worth statement, a retirement plan, and an annual budget, you can likely assess with wisdom what types of splurges are appropriate for your financial circumstances, and which are delusional.
If you are avoiding figuring out what your financial plan is, I'm not quite sure how you select what you can afford aside from just arbitrarily selecting some numbers.
Assess your Splurge:
- Are you being honest with yourself about what makes you happy and what you need?
- Are you being honest with your level of financial knowledge and basic skills?
- Are you splurging in ways aligned with your values?
- Not all splurges need to be financial - they can be acts of courage in your life, too. How are you splurging?
A Final Note on "Splurge"
A "splurge" indicates indulging.
To "indulge" is to allow pleasure.
Oftentimes too many of us stuck in the impossible standards of today's times start to confuse our new worth with our personal worth.
As your financial coach, I'm here to tell you: You're worth it! You are worthy!
You're worthy of finding happiness, emotional confidence, and financial security.
After all, this episode wasn't much about Frasier, but his mission through his radio show is to spread "good mental health," as he so often includes in his sign-off tagline.
We can be either struggling in poverty or swimming in privilege and either way, lack financial literacy and confidence.
Having more dollars to your name can open up more options, but it does not automatically solve for finding stability for yourself.
As your financial coach, I'm here to tell you not only are you worth it, but you're capable of having great money skills.
The one thing I can't do for you is tell you what makes you happy. Only you can do that. I believe assessing our happiness is a vital part of calculating our net worth and financial plan.
How you doing, friend?
Here for you. Leave a comment below if this post sparked a question or insight for you. 💰🥰
💜 Coach Jacque